Thursday, March 04, 2004

HOW TO RUIN A CLASSIC: ADD ANTEATER AND REPETITION. STIR. ADD NAUSEA. LET SETTLE

Brain hurt. Brain hurt bad. I remember The Kingdom as a wonderful, creepy Danish TV pilot that had a pseudo-documentary feel. Now overlaid with images from Stephen King's remake, Kingdom Hospital--WHICH FEATURED A HUGE ANIMATRONIC ANTEATER WITH CARNIVORE-LIKE FANGS AND A FIRST HOUR THAT WAS A NAUSEATING ODE TO THE INTERJECTION OF KING'S OWN LIFE, IN THE FORM OF HIS VAN ACCIDENT, INTO A NARRATIVE THAT NEEDED NO ANTEATER, NOR NO VAN ACCIDENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Permanently scarred. Probably not. Flinching and eye-blinky for awhile. Yes.

A fucking anteater for chrissakes?!?! Forgive my French, but where I come from the only way you can stick an animal in a perfectly good non-animal plot and not ruin it is if you happen to have a spare squid handy...

Brain hurt bad. Trust me--this is the first and last post about movies on this blog, but...oy! The horror...

JeffV

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