AN OPEN LETTER TO STEPHEN COLBERT

Dear Stephen Colbert:

Thank you, Stephen Colbert.

I've always liked you, even when you were involved with Strangers with Candy. I always had respect.

But now...

I thought I had big balls. But not compared to you. You are my hero and Ape Gone Wild's hero...

I will name my first baby monkey after you. And fight bears until my dying day.

Love,

Evil Monkey


Exercise

Thursday
3-mile walk
20 minutes abs

Friday (no gym access)
200 push ups (sets of 20, wide stance, two-minute breaks between each set)
2 sets chest push (against wall)
5 sets lunges using own weight and chair
5 sets bicep curls (30 lb weight each arm)
5 sets triceps (30 lbs weight each arm)

Saturday
45 minutes cardio

Sunday
9-mile hike, morning
3-mile walk, evening

Monday
Normal gym routine, with following changes
only 9 sets at 700 lbs on incline leg press
70 lbs on leg curls instead of 65
6 sets biceps/triceps, not 4
no cardio after weightlifting--just five laps walking (felt nauseous)