Tuesday, May 22, 2007


I'm about to go away for a few days (freelance deadline). But I got an idea from this fortune from the Bamboo House, the best Chinese restaurant in the world:

A friend will soon reveal an exciting secret to you!

So, while I'm away, it would be most amusing if you would post your exciting secrets to the comments field. Anonymously, of course, if you so desire...let loose. It'll feel great!



At 7:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Today, I threw out my retainer from high school. I'm 35. Not very exciting.

At 8:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sometimes, I dress up like a chicken.

At 8:21 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have been hired to write a tie-in novel for a popular movie series. But I can't tell anyone because I am a respected literary writer. But I'm excited about it.

At 11:32 PM, Anonymous Jade Park said...

excellent idea. :)

My secret is that:
I pick the ear wax out of my dog's ears by hand. No, I don't eat the ear wax. But my dog does (she eats her own ear wax). Did I just tell two secrets? Mine, and my dog's?

btw, I go to PostSecret for my regular fill of secrets.

At 5:34 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

While I don't need to use viagra every time, I use it to ensure good performance. Nothing is worse than losing steam pressure once you start down the track. Damn expensive erections, though.

At 6:11 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

We got an excellent fortune the other day, it was "The Council has made a mistake. Expect a tax rebate". We think one of the guys that writes them slipped that in as a joke.


At 6:12 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have never gotten over my ex-girlfriend, so these days I pursue women who look a bit like her and have the same name.

At 7:23 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I quit writing five years ago, and I'm planning a big party to burn my portfolio. Ernest Hemingway, Hunter S. Thompson, Robert Howard, and H. Beam Piper had the right idea.

At 9:39 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I like to google my old lovers and rejoice in their misfortunes.

At 10:35 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've failed three university classes this last semester. I've never screwed up so badly before.

At 1:11 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Diana won't talk to me anymore, I don't know why. I miss her, but sometimes I don't believe I do. I don't know a f***ng word of English and am trying to use it in writing. Don't know either what literature is after all (nor before all, not at all). Sorry Jeff, for using your blog for this. Thanks for Pale Fire.

At 2:17 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

what do you mean secret?

At 2:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

whatever you want it to me, anon.


At 2:28 PM, Anonymous M. Goodling said...

I'm secretly in love with you.

At 2:32 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i now secretly hate you, MGoodling.


At 4:50 PM, Blogger Larsen said...

Jeff posted a photo a while back that has completely infiltrated my imagination. Now I'd avoid meeting this human because reality hasn't a chance against my own musings. Dang!


At 5:25 PM, Anonymous John C said...


I've had sex with a woman! More than once as well...

At 5:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow. We've got some brave ones.

Good thing this is remote or we'd all be stripping down to our underwear, joining hands, and singing old hippy songs. LOL!!!!!


At 6:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'd rather wear women's clothing or a kilt, but my office won't let me.

At 6:39 PM, Anonymous John C said...

"Give a man a mask and he'll tell you the truth"--Oscar Wilde.

Where "mask" equals "anonymous Blogger option" in this instance. Unless it's all lies, of course.

At 10:57 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've never had a full time job. I consider this a success in the game of life.

At 5:40 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

All I can think about is my total insignificance in the scheme of life, history, the universe.

It makes it the motivation to get up in the morning hard to find.

At 6:38 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Gah! No one should feel that way. That's something other than reality talking. Everyone is connected and we're all in this together.


At 9:35 AM, Anonymous Paul Jessup said...


I am really a woman pretending to be a man.

At 12:41 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love my new green pants!

At 3:29 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

the mushroom dwellers stole my PS2! I'm about to embark on a quest underground to get it back, I just hope they haven't deleted my saved games yet

At 1:26 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Since Katrina I have been addicted to Poppy Z. Brite's blog. No fiction, literary or tv series or anything, has really held my interest like it.

At 12:17 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I secretly enjoy having to buy a book about snails and slugs etc for my summer course in Flora and fauna

At 4:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've been writing a novel for about 5 years now and I have about 250 words written.
Deep down I know it's never going to get written, which feeds the lethargy that incapacitates me.
Damn these vicious circles to darkest hell!

At 12:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

someone's stealing my desktop icons and they must be stopped, with brute force if necessary

At 6:33 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I fumed with jealousy and bitterness that Clarkesworld published "The Third Bear" (loved it until the ending). I feel angry at myself for spitting on your success but know I'm just mad that you rejected my pirate story...which, in my more sober and sane moments, know you were right to do so. Dammit.

I'm such a fucking child sometimes.

At 6:40 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you're going to fume, fume over something more important than that, dude.

But in all seriously, my not-always-so-secret secret is that I too fume over things like this. Mostly, it has to do with writers or books I think suck getting attention all out of proportion to the achievement. Of course, I know that somewhere out there someone is fuming that I'm getting any attention at all. LOL.

That said, it has taken a long time, but I honestly don't give a shit about the relative position of other writers any more. My life is a lot more tranquil now--and it's partially because in the last few months I've learned what's important and what's not.

The other secret I've learned is that if I curtail worrying about other people or getting engaged in endless discussions/arguments online...I get a lot more creative work done...


At 2:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

im afrraid of the dark

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