AN IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT FROM EVIL MONKEY
My Fellow Americans and Monkeys:
It is with a grave sense of public duty and a relatively clear conscience that I hereby announce my candidacy for President of the United States of America in 2008. Having seen no other viable candidates step forward, I feel it is my duty to fill that void with a platform, vice president, and agenda that will return this great nation to the correct and proper path.
I will provide a video announcement in which I reveal the name of my vice president and some of my platform planks this coming Monday morning.
Until that time, let me just say that it will be fucking great to serve you and to give this country what it is sorely lacking right now: bananas, brutally honest discourse, and fleas.
My minions await their orders. Avaunt!
Arnold E(vil) Monkey, Esq.