Having done quite a bit of pirate submission reading, here are some things I never want to see again, even though some of the stories they manifested themselves in overcame the cliche.
- Gulls wheeling. Gulls flapping their wings. Gulls doing anything.
- Captains of Her Majesty's navy who have doctor sidekicks and the great relationship they have together (platonic).
- Dead pirate captains cursed to wander the seas in their ghost ships, scaring the shit out of people.
- References to Peter Pan and Captain Hook.
- Burly men and willin' women.
- Arrr. Listen close. For a pint o' grog I'll tell ye a story. Arrr.
- The passing of gas out of proportion to any other element of the story.
Seriously, though, most submissions have required a very close reading and we're having a lot of fun.