LIKE GWENDA SAYS, BECAUSE IT'S BEEN...A WEEK...

Via Gwenda Bond...

1. Have you ever been searched by the cops?
Yes--while being hauled into the sheriff's department in connection with questioning about an alleged instance of trying to bomb my former employer (untrue, I should add).

2. Do you close your eyes on roller coasters?
When I rode roller coasters, I didn't close my eyes. As soon as I found out they can burst blood vessels, I stopped riding them. I don't like the feeling almost throwing up anyway.

3. When's the last time you've been sledding?
When I was three, in Pennsylvania.

4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
Depends on what you mean by that. I like my space in bed to sleep or I feel claustrophobic. Also, Ann is one of those heat-generating people, so in the winter I warm myself by her body and in the summer I sleep on the other side of the bed.

5. Do you believe in ghosts?
No.

6. Do you consider yourself creative?
I think Evil Monkey is creative. I merely channel him.

7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife?
Absolutely. What idiot would discount that much DNA evidence?

8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?
Angelina Jolie. But she's a bit crazy-town.

9. Do you stay friends with your ex's?
Not really.

10. Do you know how to play poker?
Yes. But I'm only dangerous because I follow no patterns in my betting and bluffing. Which also makes me amateurish.

11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
Yes. Finishing up projects. The first time was for an English project describing a post-apocalyptic society. Wound up with 200 pages and sample fiction from the future. My teacher was somewhat bemused. I was unpleased to only get an A-.

12. What's your favorite commercial?
The one for jeans where the guy's squeaky jeans attract a badger that follows him everywhere.

13. What are you allergic to?
Cat dander, in quantity. Dairy, a little. My contact solution, right now. Passive aggressive people.

14. If you're driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around do you run red lights?
I've run three post-midnight red lights, all in Gainesville at the same infernal stoplight near the football stadium.

15. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you?
Yes, but it's of the trivial kind. I think Ann knows all of my secrets by now. Including the one where by the light of the moon I dress up in a squid costume and dance the fandango.

16. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees?
Neither. Baseball sucks.

17. Have you ever been Ice Skating?
No.

18. How often do you remember your dreams?
Often. Sometimes precognitive, but always in that case of very small events or moments in time.

19. When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried?
Today. And yesterday. And the day before that. I find a lot of stuff funny. And if something doesn't happen during the day, there's always The Daily Show.

20. Can you name 5 songs by The Beatles?
Bridge Over Troubled Otters
Laird Bugglemunch
Slappy McHappy & His Magic Guitar
Weasel Lovin'
Makin' Monkey Money

21. What's the one thing on your mind now?
Shriek video parties and bookings pertaining to that, followed by am I driving Ann nuts with this 24-7 push, followed by this European trip, followed by a kind of puzzlement that I've suddenly discovered coffee and like it. I've hated it for years and years, but I had some at Jim Kelly's place and now I'm a convert.

22. Do you know who Ghetto-ass barbie is?
No. I have no extra room in my brain for such knowledge.

23. Do you always wear your seat belt?
Yes

24. What cell service do you use?
Sprint. But I tend to always leave my cell phone off or in a cupboard or under a car seat. So it doesn't really matter what service I have.

25. Do you like Sushi?
Sometimes. It leaves me hungry an hour later, though. Good with a light Japanese beer.

26. Have you ever narrowly avoided a fatal accident?
Yes. A motorcycle smashed into the side of the family's Ford Fiesta in St. Petersburg when I was eleven.

27. What do you wear to bed?
You kidding? It's Florida. It's hot. What do you think?

28. Been caught stealing?
No. I have stolen, though. For the first time, I will reveal that in college, whilst starving, I did in fact steal a few, ahem, adult magazines and a couple of Anais Nin books from the local indie bookstore. That's about the extent of my moral confusion on stealing, though. Perhaps coincidentally, I've also outgrown being a compulsive liar. It just got too exhausting, perhaps.

29. What shoe size do you have?
13 1/2

30. Do you truly hate anyone?
Not anyone I know personally. Even people I don't like that much. I tend to feel affection toward pretty much everyone in the genre community, even people I've had differences with. But, then, I consider arguments a compartmentalized thing--I don't hold general grudges against people. I do think I hate the president and all the hypocrites in power right now, though. Rather, I hate the constructs. I think it's rather hard to hate individuals if you get to know them. You might still really dislike them, but...that said, I've never met Charles Manson or other psychopath (as far as I know, so...).

31. Classic Rock or Rap?
Neither.

32. If you could sleep with one famous person, who would it be?
Hmmmm. Hypothetically only? Probably the answer to 8, above.

33. Favorite Song?
Impossible to pick. But right now, probably "Lines in the Suit" by Spoon. This second. Next second, something from Scott Walker's Drift. Moment after that, something off of Midnight Oil's 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Moment after that The Church's "Chaos" off Priest = Aura.

34. Have you ever sang in front of the mirror?
Vaguely.

35. What food do you find disgusting?
Organ meat. Head cheese. Avocado. Lox. Guac.

36. Do you sing in the shower?
Yes, but I only know a few songs. "I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas," "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall," "What'll We Do About Maria?," and "Kumbaya" (sic?).

37. Did you ever play, "I'll show you mine, if you show me yours"?
Yes, with a girl in Fiji. Among others. It was never *my* suggestion oddly enough.

38. Have you ever made fun of your friends behind their back?
Sure, but only in an affectionate way, the same way they do to me.

39. Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly knew?
Absolutely--just last week. I have a strong sense of what is fair and injustice at any level bothers me and gives me sleepless nights. This gets me in trouble and I can't say it's particularly noble as it seems hardwired into me--an involuntary response.

40. Have you ever been punched in the face?
No. But I have punched at least three people in the face. All in high school.